Why Every Mother Needs a Morning and Evening Routine to Protect Her Mental Health

This Mother’s Day, I wanted to kick my feet up and enjoy the day like it was my birthday.

 

But the reality is, I have two kids who are constantly needing something. My youngest, at eleven, is in a phase where more of me is required. Work needs more of me. My parents have needed more of me this past year. And truthfully, there’s been less and less left of me. As poetic as that sounds, I’m no stranger to this. These are the conversations I have in my clinic all the time with women who are stretched so thin they can’t even remember what rest feels like. The good news is, I’m never alone in these conversations. I come armed with wisdom gathered from hundreds of women over the years. 

 

Through all my work with women across cultures, and across all age groups the one truth that stands tall is this: we all have different ways of feeling restored. For me, it’s having no one ask me for anything, food already cooked, and no emails or texts to reply to. In other words, one full day of not being obligated to anyone.

 

But if that only happens once a year on Mother’s day and then again on my birthday, how are we expected to keep going?

 

Because even on Mother’s Day, I found myself checking my calendar, thinking about emails,  planning the week ahead, making sticky notes, and thinking about the busy week to come. The reality is, if we don’t create space for our own rhythm and repair, the world won’t hand it to us. If I want to change the conversation around Mental Health, I will first have to get to the underlying issues that bring us to this state. 

 

We’ve been taught that women can “do it all” but I’m here to say, you cannot do it all. And the ones who appear to be? They’re usually giving something up behind the scenes. You get to choose what that “something” is but only if you’re honest about your limits.

 

So how do we start reclaiming space in a world that constantly demands our energy?

 

We stop chasing balance, and we start building rhythm. 2025 for me has been about strict routines and finding a rhythm with all my “to-do” lists. It’s not perfect, in fact far from it, but here are a few of my personal favourites that have brought some joy in my life this year. Please don’t feel like you have to do them all at once. It took a lot of patience and reflection to get to the point where I have realized that my mornings and evenings are sacred and I have to figure out ONE thing that brings me joy. 

 

Morning routines that ground you 

 

Let’s be real here, many women’s mornings feel like a sprint. The alarm rings, and before your feet hit the floor, your brain is racing. Kids, meals, messages, work, traffic. It’s no wonder our hormones feel chaotic. Cortisol spikes way too high, blood sugar crashes mid-morning and the day runs us rampant. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be this way. This year, I have been waking up 15 minutes prior to everyone else and enjoying a cup of tea by myself. During the winter months, I sat by the fire and often gathered my thoughts. I absolutely loved it. 

 

Give yourself two minutes of stillness before the day begins. Sit. Breathe. Sip tea. No phone, no tasks, no decisions. Eat a small protein-rich breakfast within the first hour of waking or add some collagen to your coffee not because some influencer on Instagram said so, but to  support cortisol rhythm, and give your brain the nutrients it needs to function. Step outside into the light, if that’s possible for you. Even five minutes helps reset your circadian rhythm and lowers inflammation.

 

Evening rituals that help you unwind 

 

Most women I work with don’t “fall asleep”, they crash. And not in a peaceful, restorative way. It’s more like emotional whiplash after a day of carrying invisible loads. But your evening sets the tone for how your nervous system recovers and how your cortisol behaves overnight.

 

Pick one calming ritual: a warm shower, a bath, stretching, herbal tea, or journaling. Let it become a cue for your body to slow down. Supplement with magnesium if your stress levels are high or sleep is poor (most women are deficient), and it plays a critical role in hormone balance and neurotransmitter regulation.  Write down your to-do list for tomorrow tonight. Your brain needs closure before rest.

 

You don’t need perfection, but your body needs repetition. Hormones love rhythm and know that if one thing gets missed, the world will be ok. 

 

The bigger picture: why women are burned out, anxious, and hormonally drained

 

As I work with more and more women, I keep coming back to this: mental health isn’t just emotional: It’s physical. It’s hormonal  and it’s your body’s way of saying, something is off. 

 

Women today are dealing with an unprecedented mental load, especially mothers. The invisible labor of managing family logistics, caregiving, meal planning, emotional regulation, and career responsibilities has become a second full-time job. The stress is chronic. The body perceives it as constant danger. Over time, this drives up cortisol and depletes progesterone, the hormone that keeps us calm, clear-headed, and able to sleep deeply.

 

What makes this worse is that many women are nutrient depleted and don’t even know it. Stress will deplete magnesium, B6, iron, zinc, and omega-3s, especially in menstruating or perimenopausal women. These nutrients are essential for serotonin and GABA production.  Stress will also affect the gut lining so it’s a double whammy for women who are working to improve gut health. 

 

And sleep? That sacred time when the body is meant to reset? It’s being sacrificed. Poor sleep is no longer seen as a red flag, it’s seen as a badge of honor. But it is absolutely a hormonal disruptor. Mid-night wakings, light sleep, and early cortisol surges are not just symptoms of stress; they are symptoms of deeper imbalance.

 

Add to this the widespread use of caffeine to replace rest and real food, and we’re looking at a perfect storm. Too many women are skipping meals, running on coffee, and pushing through their days in a state of metabolic chaos. It may feel productive in the short term, but the long-term costs show up in our cycles, moods, thyroid function, skin, and digestion.

 

And perhaps the most overlooked piece of all: women aren’t being taught how to downregulate. We’re handed more to-do lists, kids activity schedules, college applications and on top of that, Instagram video’s on the new oats recipe that contains 30 grams of protein because our muscles are falling apart without protein. We are taught that therapy is just as important as our handbag and not one aspect of our outfits or make-up should be compromised. 

 

No one teaches us how to move from sympathetic to parasympathetic or even the signs that we are in a state of “fight or flight”. 

 

You don’t need another productivity hack. You don’t need to optimize your schedule. You need to slow down. You need to stop long enough to notice how you feel. You need structure, not restriction. You need softness, not silence. You need rhythms that work with your body, not against it. 

 

And it starts with the small things: a morning that doesn’t begin in panic and an evening that doesn’t end in collapse.

 

This Mother’s Day reminded me that waiting for one special day to feel whole isn’t enough. What we need is to build a life where small moments of restoration are normal, not a once-a-year luxury.